Bump Attack: 12 Weeks

Weight Gain: the same 3 lbs. I'll take it! 

Cravings: nothing really! I wouldn't turn down a whole box of McD's French fries! That's nothing new. Cheese and I still have a love affair going on. 

Symptoms: the nausea is still present but not nearly as persistent. I was able to eat sushi for the first time without feeling sick afterward. Zofran has truly been my best friend for the past 6 weeks. I don't need it daily and some days I will break it in quarters and take a quarter to to ward off the icky feeling. Breasts feel normal. My feet and ankles swell much faster and easier now but I knew that would happen. I'm praying for a mild summer instead of a sizzling hot one! My taste buds are out of whack. Nothing really tastes REALLY good. The water and ice in my house even tasted funny to me. 

I was excited, nervous, uneasy, going into this week. I've literally been holding my breath for the past 6 weeks. I had some complications with Jordan up until my 12 week. Of course he was born completely healthy but I still worried. 

Our family and close friends know that we are pregnant now! We haven't made it "FB official" and I don't think we will until we did out what we're having. 

Gender Prediction: several of my friends have done "old wives tale" gender prediction rituals on me. One was with a necklace, girl. One was with baking soda and per (my own...not as gross as it sounds), girl. Chinese Gender Chart, girl. As much as I want to believe it, I'm still betting on boy. Yes, this pregnancy has been so different from my first one but I don't really put any stock into that.

Stretch Marks: I got them with Jordan so if there are any new ones, I haven't noticed them. 

What's Next: Appointment on June 14th. I had gestational diabetes with Jordan so they are going to test me early this time. I'm secretly hoping that I will get an ultrasound and that they can give me a hint of what we're having! 

I think I'll update every two weeks, unless something exciting happens between then. Right now, my outward body isn't really changing.   

As promised, a bump picture! Excuse the pretty hair, this is after a cycle class! 

This post is current! I will be 13 weeks tomorrow! 

Bump Attack: 10 Weeks

Written May 11th

You've read our "coming out" story (here), now it's time to get down to business!

Weight Gain: give or take, 3 lbs. 

Symptoms: the nausea, my goodness! It started at 6 weeks and has not let up. It was morning sickness, then it was mid day, now it's all day. I never had a day of morning sickness with Jordan. I don't really have any "aversions," so to speak but nothing really sounds good to me.

We are excited going into this week! We get our first appointment! We've literally been holding our breath for the past couple weeks. Not thinking anything would happen but, you never know.We just want to see a happy healthy baby on the screen!

Gender Prediction: in my heart of hearts, I think it's a boy. We would love for Jordan to have a little sister but we will take a healthy baby!

What's Next: Appointment on Wednesday, May 15!!!

***UPDATE***

Our first appointment went great! We have a baby with a nice strong heartbeat! 

The Beginning!

Let's be honest, we all know how it happened! God put a baby in my belly and when it's time, the baby will come out of my belly button. That's the story, according to Jordan!

I wrote this post back in April. I didn't want to forget the details! Now that I am out of the pregnancy closet, I can finally share!

We had an appointment with the fertility doctor on March 6th. I loved her! She asked what our goals were and what route we wanted to take and then offered her medical advice. She didn't push us into believing something or trying anything that we weren't comfortable with. I told her my concerns with fertility drugs. I had a cyst rupture in January causing me a lot of pain. I didn't want to take anything that would increase the chance of another cyst coming back. She assured us that if we wanted a baby that we would have a baby. She wanted us to do the preliminary tests, get Ashish tested, make sure my tubes were clear, etc. before doing anything else.

We got Ashish tested, everything was normal. The advice that she gave us was to get the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor and chart my ovulation for the next three months. She didn't want to do anything in those 3 months. I was a little frustrated, but confident in her plan. We ordered the $60 kit off of Amazon and waited until the right time. Unfortunately, by the time we received the kit, it was too late for us to test in March. That's okay...we'll start in April!

Wednesday, March 27th: We're driving to my parent's house from T-Ball practice. As we come to a 4 way stop, I turn to Ashish and said "I think I'm pregnant." He brushed it off and said "you always think you're pregnant." I knew that he didn't mean anything by it. I do, always think I'm pregnant, and I hadn't been. The amount of money spent on pregnancy tests is a little ridiculous. So, I continued driving, all while thinking "I know I'm pregnant." I didn't bring it up again at my parents house. When we got home, I took the one test that I had left under my bathroom cabinet, hid in the bathroom, and peed on a stick. I came out like nothing was going on and went about my bedtime routine. I didn't tell Ashish that I was taking the test. I already knew what he was going to say..."you're only going to be disappointed. I don't know why you keep doing this to yourself?" He has been nothing but supportive but I know that the negative tests wear on him just as much as they do me. I left the test face down on the bathroom floor, waiting for the 3 minutes to pass. Unfortunately (and fortunately) Ashish beat me to the bathroom. He saw the test and immediately said what I thought he would..."Danielle, why are you getting your hopes up?" At the minute, I turned the test over and it was POSITIVE! We both looked at each other and did the happy dance/hug/jump up and down/hug some more dance. We couldn't believe it. We weren't expecting it.

We immediately told Ashish's mom! When we found out we were pregnant with Jordan, we told my mom first so it was only fair. She was half asleep so she wasn't as excited as we thought she would be. Next, I told some of my closest girlfriends. We've had a lot of prayers for this baby. We even had people praying for us that we didn't even know. It is very sweet and humbling to have someone say "I've been praying for a baby for your family." Of all the things going on in the world; they're praying for us.


On Easter we decided to tell our best friends and my parents. Keisha, my best friend, cried. Another one of our prayer warriors. She and Chris were just as excited about the pregnancy as we were. I love friends like that. The ones that share your excitement with you. My parents were also excited. My dad turned on music, my mom cried. This is how we shared the news!

Our days as a family of 3 are numbered. We couldn't be more excited!

Rejoice with those who rejoice...Romans 12:15

Well Well Well

I've sat down to write this post 20 different times. Sometimes it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I've combed over the details and analyzed it over and over again. I couldn't find the words to put into writing, how this happened. I still don't believe it's true. Our lives will forever be changed. God is moving so many mountains and helping us cross so many bridges. Again, I don't believe it's true.

WE'RE HAVING A BABY! DUE DECEMBER 2013

More details to come soon!

On A Lighter Note

Yesterday's post was a bit heavy. I debated on whether or not to publish it to my blog. I wasn't ashamed but I was vulnerable. The amount of support and love that I received far outweighed my vulnerability. I received several e-mails from women telling me that they have experienced what I was going through. I really didn't know that I had that many people that read my blog! All I can say is "thank you." Thank You for the kind words. Thank You for understanding. But most of all, thank you for continuing to follow my blog. Now...on to the lighter things!

1. Ashish got a promotion! I am so incredibly proud of him. He is such a hard worker and I think he should be recognized for it!
2. My sweet friend, Ashley, had her 3rd baby girl two weeks ago. She is precious. She is perfect.
3. We are headed to the beach in exactly one month! This will be our first "real" vacation of the year!

I hope you ladies have a great day! Yay, it's one day closer to Friday (which means nothing to a stay at home mom)!

There is Power...

This post takes place over the span of 14 months. No, I haven't been working on it for 14 months but it is 14 months of emotions, all in one post.

If you read my blog, you know that Ashish and I have been trying for a second baby. When we first stopped using birth control we weren't worried about it. We thought for sure that it wouldn't be too long before we saw the two pink lines on the pregnancy test. We didn't stress about it, we were taking it one month at a time. Let me be clear...by no means did we think that it was going to be easy. Infertility is such a touchy subject, for myself included. We knew that it wouldn't happen overnight, or the next month, but we were sure that it would happen. Well, January turned to February, February to March, and still no pregnancy. As the months passed by, I was starting to lose faith. So many of my friends were getting pregnant. Most of which weren't really "trying." Ashish and I had been "trying" for several months at this point. With every pregnancy announcement my heart broke a little bit more. I was ecstatic for my friends but sad for myself. I was in a place where I didn't know how to balance being really happy for them (which I truly was) and sad for myself. I didn't know how to protect my feelings. I didn't know how to put how I was feeling into words (without sounding like a grumpy old troll). So, I didn't. I talked to one friend about it. I closed off everyone else. I didn't really bring it up.

January was a year since we started trying. Infertility along with some other minor health issues sent me into a tailspin. I became depressed and very anxious. I didn't want to leave my house. I didn't want to hang out with anyone. It was a dark time for me, for Ashish. Right before his eyes, his wife, who has always been strong, was falling apart. One day, in the midst of my depression, I fell to my knees, in my closet in prayer. Tears pouring out of my eyes, hands high in the air, I prayed that God would just take this feeling from me. I prayed that God not let the devil get to me. I prayed specifically for what I wanted and what I needed. I pleaded with God to heal me.

In that moment, something happened. I was given a strength that I hadn't had before. I picked myself up off of that floor and I decided to proactive and reactive. God gave me strength, what was I going to do with it? I started seeing a therapist once a week, she is amazing. Talking it out definitely helps. It's so much easier to talk to someone that doesn't know you. Along with talking to a complete stranger, I started talking more with  the person that knows more about me than I know about myself, God. Somewhere in the midst of life, I lost sight of the person that gives life. I had a regular prayer life, attended church regular, but had been skipping on my quiet time. I really think God was trying to get my attention. I had to realize that he brought me to this place not to leave me,but to lead me. All I had to do was surrender.

While that was a couple months ago, I still struggle with some anxiety. I am and will continue to be a work in progress. I am surrounded by a ridiculous amount of supportive friends. My family is amazing. I am not ashamed to share my story, this is all apart of my testimony. I know that his plan for me and my family is great. I just can't wait to see what's in store!

"There is power in the name Jesus...to break every chain, break every chain, break every chain."

"Doing" Marriage Alone

Happy Monday! I hope everyone is off to a great week! Ashish, Jordan, and I are headed out of town for a short trip on Wednesday and then back home for his first T-Ball game! Oh, did I mention that he was playing T-Ball? No? Sorry! We signed him up, as a last minute thing. So far, we've only practiced 3 times because of the cold and rain. I'm super excited to see him in his little t-ball uniform!

Let's talk marriage for a few minutes. Over the weekend, I was talking with a friend about husbands and marriage and she said "you and Ashish don't go anywhere alone. You two are always together." To which I replied, "yeah, we don't really "do" life alone." To which I got a blank stare. I didn't think that what I said was that thought provoking. I didn't think that I said anything really profound. The truth is, we don't do life alone. We make a point to spend time together a lot. Whether that time is as a family or just as a couple. We go to birthday parties together. We both go to T-Ball. We go to Target together. We shop together. We visit friends together. We even plan doctor's appts for days when we can both go.  We do these things together because we want to, not because we have to. There is a difference.

We make alone time a priority in our marriage. Both of our parents are nearby and always willing to take Jordan for a couple hours or sometimes the night so that makes it easier. But, even if our parents weren't close, we would find a way to spend time together. It's by far the most important thing in our marriage. 

Don't get me wrong, we both have our own interests and hobbies. We have our own friends. I go out with my girlfriends at least once a month. I meet up with a high school friend for dinner once a month. I purposely plan my nights out with my friends on the nights that Ashish works late. I'm selfish with my family and husband time. If he's home, I want to be with him. I don't feel bad for leaving him if he is home, but I would hangout with him if I had the choice. I don't want to do life without him. 

In small group we talked about praying for a spouse for our children. If I were to pray for a spouse for Jordan, I would pray that he would find someone that he wants to do life with. The good and the bad. Someone that will fight for him and fight with him. I pray that he finds someone that respects him for him but isn't afraid to challenge him. Most of all, I pray that he never has to "do" marriage alone.

So tell me, are Ashish and I in the majority or the minority? How do you and your husband "do" life?