Monday, March 04, 2013

"Doing" Marriage Alone

Happy Monday! I hope everyone is off to a great week! Ashish, Jordan, and I are headed out of town for a short trip on Wednesday and then back home for his first T-Ball game! Oh, did I mention that he was playing T-Ball? No? Sorry! We signed him up, as a last minute thing. So far, we've only practiced 3 times because of the cold and rain. I'm super excited to see him in his little t-ball uniform!

Let's talk marriage for a few minutes. Over the weekend, I was talking with a friend about husbands and marriage and she said "you and Ashish don't go anywhere alone. You two are always together." To which I replied, "yeah, we don't really "do" life alone." To which I got a blank stare. I didn't think that what I said was that thought provoking. I didn't think that I said anything really profound. The truth is, we don't do life alone. We make a point to spend time together a lot. Whether that time is as a family or just as a couple. We go to birthday parties together. We both go to T-Ball. We go to Target together. We shop together. We visit friends together. We even plan doctor's appts for days when we can both go.  We do these things together because we want to, not because we have to. There is a difference.

We make alone time a priority in our marriage. Both of our parents are nearby and always willing to take Jordan for a couple hours or sometimes the night so that makes it easier. But, even if our parents weren't close, we would find a way to spend time together. It's by far the most important thing in our marriage. 

Don't get me wrong, we both have our own interests and hobbies. We have our own friends. I go out with my girlfriends at least once a month. I meet up with a high school friend for dinner once a month. I purposely plan my nights out with my friends on the nights that Ashish works late. I'm selfish with my family and husband time. If he's home, I want to be with him. I don't feel bad for leaving him if he is home, but I would hangout with him if I had the choice. I don't want to do life without him. 

In small group we talked about praying for a spouse for our children. If I were to pray for a spouse for Jordan, I would pray that he would find someone that he wants to do life with. The good and the bad. Someone that will fight for him and fight with him. I pray that he finds someone that respects him for him but isn't afraid to challenge him. Most of all, I pray that he never has to "do" marriage alone.

So tell me, are Ashish and I in the majority or the minority? How do you and your husband "do" life?


Starprinttiger said...

Dann and i "do" life together as well, we have most of the same hobbies and friends, so we are also almost always together when the time allows. =D


Faith said...

And you know what? No one can tell me otherwise. That is exactly how marriage should be. Why should you do life alone? You're married. You're in this together might as well do life together.

Yes, we both have our friends and our hobbies but we make sure that we spend a lot of time together. Not because we have to but because we want to. I'm convinced that no one is better company than he is.

Jasmine Hellogmsunshine said...

I agree. We do the same things - we plan our dentist appointments together - I went with him into his last doctors appt. Its not that we are "all" about each other but we choose to do most things together - afterall thats why you marry your best friend right?

We each get our fellowship time with the other people in our lives- but I do the same as you - plan to go out with my girls only if he is working late. Something about the thought of him sitting at home while I go out and do whatever and have a good time just feels strange. Now there are special occasions that it happens like Birthdays and Sorority events, but I give ample notice so that if he wants to make plans himself he can do that or choose to stay home if he likes.

I dont know - the togetherness of marriage is awesome. marriage alone not so much.

Pegster said...

I totally agree with your view on marriage. Hubby and I do everything together, I am sure it's sickening to some. I don't want to do things alone, isn't why you get married in the first place so that you can share everything with this special person?

I don't want to do marriage alone, I like that I share everything with my hubby. We have our own alone time but most of the time we do things together.

Don't let people make you feel bad about doing everything with your hubby, you are doing the right thing or at least the right thing for your family :).

Danielle said...

I totally agree! My ideal night out would be with some of our best friends as couples. I get to hang with my friend, he gets to hang with his, we're all together! Paradise!

Danielle said...

Exactly! Why get married if you always wanna be alone?!?

Danielle said...

I figure, I'll keep doing why I'm doing because its working for us! LOL!

Kathy C. said...

I love this post! I would like to say we do a lot together. My husband would prefer we do a lot more together like shopping and even doc appointments. :) But I have a hard time taking his shopping because he end up spending twice as much! :) But I could try with the other things. It's not like we don't enjoy our time together!