Friday, June 29, 2012

Friday Letters

Dear God...thank you for waking me up at 5:30am (I wish I could capitalize that) this morning, I won't complain, you must've known that I had things to do. Dear Weather...105 degrees in Atlanta this weekend, really?!? Dear Keisha...what would I do without you?!? Dear Lupus...thank you for being the milder form. Dear God...thank you for my mama. Dear Newly Manicured Nails...I'm sorry that you couldn't stick around longer. Dear Weekend...so nice to see you again!

Have a great weekend.


Friday, June 22, 2012

Friday Letters

Dear Friday...how ya doing? It's nice to see you again! Dear God...Thank You for continuing to lead Ashish and I in the right direction. Dear Jordan...everyday you amaze me and I couldn't be prouder to be your mommy. Dear Friends...sorry about the unreturned phone calls and texts, I've been in a slump. I promise to get back to you soon. Dear Slump...can't you find someone else to annoy, I'm tired of you. Dear Lorelei...Happy Birthday on Wednesday! You are Jordan's real best friend!

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Maybe...

I've had an off day today, I really can't explain it. I woke up this morning not feeling like myself. There wasn't anything "wrong," I felt fine, slept fine, but felt unsettled. I've felt unsettled most of this week. Again, I can't explain it.

Maybe it was the 3 negative pregnancy tests that I got this week. Maybe I had my hopes up just a lot little.

Maybe I'm worried about my mom, she was diagnosed with Lupus yesterday. We are unsure of which of the two forms she has. She went for more bloodwork today.

Maybe I'm beating myself up over not being there for my best friend and cousin today as she is having a major surgery. She lives in Michigan and I in Georgia.

Maybe it's watching a friend's marriage falling apart. They've given it all that they are willing to give and have decided to divorce. I think it's sad. I want to be supportive but on the inside I am screaming "don't give up." Everyone has hard times, marriage wasn't designed to be easy.

I'm giving it all to God. I've found myself praying a lot today, even when I don't realize that I'm doing it. I know that God would never give me anything that I couldn't handle and I am grateful that he trusts me so much. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe, just maybe, I won't be so much of a jumbled mess.

Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you-1 Peter 5:7

Friday, June 08, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear Weekend...thank you so much for showing your face! This week has been too long. Dear Beach...we will be seeing each other in less than a week! Dear weather...please don't rain on my beach trip. Dear Kennedy...Happy 1st birthday! Man that year flew by fast. Dear Maddie Paddie...I can't believe that you're going to be one on Sunday! You've been a great "boss" for the past 9 months! Dear hubby's new job...thank you for finally speeding up the hiring process!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Currently

I'm Reading: I recently finished the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. I know, go ahead and judge me. The books were entertaining. I am now reading Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul with my small group ladies. A bit ironic? I think so too!

Watching: The Real Housewives of OC, NY, and NJ. The Bachelorette-I was a fan of Ryan, us Georgians gotta stick together, but he it's time for him to go! I don't know how I get sucked into this show every.single.time.

Anticipating: Ashish's new schedule, he got a new job (more about that later)! No more eating dinner at 10:30pm for him!

Laughing About: My fumble down a couple stairs on Tuesday. It definitely reminded me to not take myself seriously.


Listening to: A whole lot of nothing. However, I am loving the new Payphone song by Maroon 5.

Eating: McDonald's Hot Fudge Sunday, who knew that those things were so delicious? I would suggest that you go and try one; but I don't want anyone coming after me because their jeans don't fit anymore!

Working On: Decluttering the cabinets in my house. I am super quick to throw things away, if I can see it. Those sneaky cabinets hold all types of junk that needs to get gone!

Wishing: A very Happy 1st Birthday to Kennedy and "Maddie Paddy." Kennedy will be one on the 8th, and Maddie will be one on the 10th.

**I borrowed this post from Why Girls are Weird who borrowed it from someone else.**

Friday, June 01, 2012

Truth Be Told

J: Mommy, why don't we have a baby at our house?
Me: What do you mean?
J: Lorelei has a baby, Christopher has a baby, and Ms. "Lissa" has a baby in her belly. I want a baby at our house.


My heart broke just a little bit for my 3 yr old today. He doesn't get it. He sees all of his friends with baby brothers and sisters and he is starting to feel left out.

Truth be told, I don't know if Jordan will ever have a baby at his house. We weren't trying to get pregnant when I became pregnant with Jordan. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) when I was 22. At the time, I wasn't too worried about it. I was career driven, enjoyed my job, loved hanging out with my friends; the farthest thing from my mind was babies. At the time, I was okay with never having children.

Truth be told, we've been trying to give Jordan a baby at his house for a while now, longer than I am willing to admit to anyone. Not even my closest friends know how long we've been trying. It's hard to see the majority of your friends able to get pregnant so quickly. As a matter of fact, I have a friend, one of my best friends, that has gotten pregnant twice since I've been trying, she is due with her 3rd child in August.

Truth be told, I don't want to be that friend that everyone handles with kitten gloves. I don't want my friends to feel like they can't share their pregnancies with me. I am excited for each and everyone of them. My inability to get pregnant doesn't hinder my excitement for my friends.

Truth be told, babies are a blessing from God, despite when they come and how they come. So we will continue to pray, we know that He has a plan for us, we are just waited for the big reveal! Until then, I'll enjoy this little guy, who isn't so little anymore!