Friday, February 18, 2011

Let Them Walk

She was one of my best friends. Maid of honor in my wedding, one of the only people in the world that I felt understood me. She was there when I gave birth to my first child. I have so many memories of her. We were going to be friends forever.

Then one day something changed. She stood proudly next to me as I married the man of my dreams and a week later we were no longer speaking. There wasn't a fight, no falling out, to this day I still don't know what happened to our friendship.

After a year of silence, no communication, I ran into her, not once but twice. It was bound to happen,we live less than a mile away from each other. We shop at the same grocery stores, get gas at the same gas stations, and go to the same hair dresser. I wanted to talk to her but I couldn't bring myself to do it.  You see, for a year I've been asking myself why she stopped fighting for our friendship.

It almost made me wonder if something was wrong with me.  Who am I kidding, it definitely made me wonder if something was wrong with me.  But then I’d look at all my other healthy friendships and realize that they are drama free.  If we hurt each other, or if we have a problem with the other person, we talk about it.
We do this because we value each other that much.  We fight for our friendships.  We fight for each other and alongside each other.  Is that not what a friend is?  Do they not love at all times?

When sharing this story with my aunt (who is like my mom), she left me with a paraphrase from a quote by TD Jakes "If your friend  has chosen to walk away from you, let her walk. Let her walk."

So, to that friend, I valued our friendship but I'm letting you walk.

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:


I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you….
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left….


…It doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over and you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s dead.



Tasha Criss said...


Christy said...

I read this last night and it was perfect timing! Thanks so much for posting...might be borrowing that ;-)