Sunday, April 10, 2011


Anxiety: A natural human reaction to a threat, real or imagined.

SPOILER ALERT: If you are reading this and you do not attend 12Stone's Central Campus, I am talking about today's lesson.

It seems like it has been a long time since I'd been to church. I guess it's only been two weeks but that two weeks has felt like 2 months. I love the church that I attend. Ashish and I have been members there for nearly a year and I have to say that it is the best decision that we have ever made since being married. Jordan has a ball in the children's church, we have made a lot of new friends through a small group that we joined, and most of all, our marriage is more rooted in our faith!

Our church teaches lessons based on a series. This series is titled "Whatever-The Feel Good Series of the Year about Apathy, Anxiety, and Anger." This week we learned about anxiety. I wouldn't have ever described myself as an anxious person. I tend to take conflict on head-on and don't look back. However, I am an analyzer-almost to a fault. I think about things a lot and internalize a lot of other people's emotions. I am type A. I make a list to remind myself to make a list. As a matter of fact, I have a running list in my head right now of all of the things I need to get for our beach trip in JUNE...two months away from now.

I experienced my first bout with anxiety when I was in a friend's wedding. I am pretty outgoing but am a little bit shy when put in a situation where I am the only one that doesn't know anyone. Ashish and my parents were invited to this wedding but I didn't know anyone else. So, there I was standing in front of all these people and the anxiety set in. My hands got sweaty, I started shifting back and forth, before I knew it, I was kneeling down trying to catch my breath. Luckily, the bride was really sweet and only wanted to make sure that I was okay. I thought for sure that it would never happen again. I thought that maybe I hadn't eaten enough before the wedding and that is why I nearly passed out. To my surprise, it was not an isolated incident. The same thing happened at MY WEDDING. Yes, my very own wedding, I nearly passed out. I had to hurry the preacher along or else I was going to be an accessory on the carpet.

So I thought  that weddings just weren't for me; at least not as a participant. I remember the way I felt like it was yesterday and I have noticed that feeling inching into my body during several different occasions. Mainly when I am faced with someone that I don't want to see or hear from. I can't really explain it but I know when it's happening.

I was really excited to go to church this morning. I really needed to hear how I was to handle this anxiety that I've been feeling. The lesson was just what I needed to hear. Kevin Queen instructed everyone to say a prayer when anxiety starts to creep in. He urged us to talk to God, tell him exactly what you need and to let him know that you trust him to bring you through whatever situation you are facing. The prayer would sound something like this:

"God, I trust you. Will you protect me and give me peace?"

 I think that I will have a better handle on my anxiety now. I might be saying a lot of prayers but I serve an awesome God and I know that I will be just fine!

"The ultimate freedom we have as human beings is the power to select what we will allow our minds to dwell upon. It is our thoughts that the first movements toward the renovation of the heart occur. Thoughts are the place where we can and must begin to change." -Dallas Willard

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